it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
