Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
