ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
