I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
