So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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