S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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