she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
