I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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