Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize