Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
