office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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