um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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