do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
