I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
