I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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