I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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