the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
