Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
