He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
