The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize