you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
