I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
