I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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