Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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