Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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