just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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