She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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