How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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