he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
