Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Quick, to the slutcave!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
