Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
