she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
