Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
