Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
