why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
