You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
