This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
