We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
