she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
