Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Randomize
