My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
