Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
