But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
