i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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