How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize