Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
