umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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