Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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