Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize