she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
