You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
