It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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