what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
