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• (904): View more from Florida

  i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at

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• (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.

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• (310): View more from California

  But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick

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