hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
