hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
