i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
