She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
