Sorry, I don't speak sober.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
