Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
