K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
