I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
