i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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