a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
