I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
