Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
