R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
