Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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